More on NY

I've officially lasted a month living here. It's interesting. I'm locked 24 hours indoors. I've actually begun to go mad. I consistantly "rocket" (as the slaves say) back and forth, from one end of our 940' one bedroom apartment to the other. I leap around fearlessly from counters to chairs in the kitchen and from the couch to the desk in the living room. I enjoy knocking off pictures frames, chewing through yarn balls and unravelling bobbin spools. The woman slave pretends not to be impressed, but I know she secretly enjoys it.

My sleep schedule is very disrupted. I make sure the slaves know. I wake them up by Cat Yodeling and serenade every morning at 3 until one of them gets up for good. They've bought another water squirter in hopes it will deter me. It doesn't. To show them how unintimidated I am by it, I broke a candlestick holder and creep up to the bastard squirter while the female slave is alseep and has left it ungaurded, and I SMACK THAT BASTARD AS HARD AS MY SIX CLAWS WILL ALLOW. Although it instantly makes a very loud noise when it hits the ground, causing the slaves to wake up, and then squirt at me with it, I feel that I'm slowly teaching it a lesson.

Lastly, I've been feeling lovey lately. During the daylight hours of course. I've found that I much like to cuddle against either slave. Don't tell anyone. Or I will do to you what I do to the squirter.


Peace

I'm trapped in NY

So as some of you darlings are aware, I was rudely abducted from my quaint town in WA and forcibly placed into a moving vehicle for 4, long, gruesome days by my slaves (to which I sat under the gas and brake pedal in hopes it would kill us all) as we moved to the state of NY.
I hate cars. I hate hotels. I hate my slaves. actually, as I write this, I am currently hiding in a closet from them. There is speak of a few more car rides. I am planning a protest. I'm sure it will involve Cat Howling; I found out the female slave is not happy about Cat Howling, thus I will use it to my advantage. I hope that she will be so tired from my Cat Howling ALL night, that we'll just crash and die on the other car trips so I no longer have to withstand ANY MORE.

I will say, on a less morbid note, the place they are holding me hostage is quite beautiful. I only see it at sunset and sunrise (because the herd of people that are here are quiet and asleep then), through the safety of a screened window. It's right on a large lake, there's birdies EVERYWHERE and lots of green grass. It's cat heaven. I wish we could stay here. I WILL make my slaves stay here.......


Until later,
Booger.

Moving.

Sucks.

To prove how mad I am, I threw up a massive hairball where the slaves were packing. HA.

Update on massacring.

So yesterday, after the vet. I murdered a bird. I think my woman slave was terrified; she looked like she was trembling a little but kept repeating "You're such a good boy! And so skilled at hunting!" in a retarded baby voice. So I hid under a chair and moved Beaky around when she wasn't looking. I think she was more disturbed when she saw the blood pools Beaky left. I bet she's terrified. Just what I want.

This is Beaky after I crumpled his body.

Vet visits.

Today marked the last day for my yearly shots this year. I'm stoked. I hate the vet. It smells like dog mouth and people always feel the need to stick me with needles or shove things up my ass, AND they always comment on how surprised they are to find out that I only weight 14.2 pounds. Wow. I didn't have a weight complex before, but everytime I have to get weighed, they expect me to weigh like 800 pounds.

I hate my woman slave. She forcibly makes me go there. Does she not know they make house calls?

Over the last 6 weeks I've had to go in 4 times. All for shots. Which I hate. A lot.
To show my woman slave how pissed I am at her, each night after I get home from the vet, I go capture a tiny mouse or a massive moth and I bring it to the door, yell for her and then slaughter it right infront of her so she can witness my killing skills first hand. If this doesn't strike fear into her heart, she should be admitted.

Anyways, I'm off to go fill my belly with food and think about what I'm going to massacure for her tonight! Ta-ta!

How I get back: )

When the slaves do something I don't like, I really like to get my revenge. 

I like to go outside, but I don't want to spend ALL night out there; if I have to go without crunchies for too long I lose my temper. I can't handle when my stomach growls at all (which is why I eat all the time). I then have to over compensate for it by eating my morning breakfast (in a quicker manner than normal) and eat half a bowl of crunchies (fast as well).

The woman slave doesn't like vomit.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

I THROW UP ALL OVER THE CARPET TO SHOW HER HOW LIVID I AM THAT SHE LEFT ME OUTSIDE ALLLLL NIGHT.

Ha.

This last time, I threw up in a secret place >: ). Well not that secret, but it took her a few hours to find it. Normally I throw up in the living room, where it's noticable as soon as you walk in the door, but this last time, I threw up at the very top of the stairs. She wasn't impressed when she found it. I'm pretty sure the message I sent her was crystal clear.

Well it's off to play outside: ) BUT NOT ALL NIGHT.

LOVE

Male and female slave recently found my hoarding spot for all things sparkly and shiny, not that it was something I was embarrassed of (well maybe for all the tin foil balls there), I was actually pleased, because now I have the toys back that I LOVE. But don't tell anyone that I love anything. It might ruin my reputation.

These are other things I love:
My special breakfasts EVERY morning, ON TIME (aka WHEN I WANT IT)
Thinking I am being so sly and sneaky (blending in with the concrete outside and slowly moving toward a bird (when I think it's not paying attention to me)) while planning/participating in my next hunting trip.
Water with ice in it.
Hiding on the stairs (because I'm sneaky), waiting to launch out and scare the crap out of my slaves.
Trying to burrow under the Powder Room door; and also yelling at it.
Staring at the same spot on the wall for hours at a time.
Eating yarn.
Selling Cat Nip.
Eating Cat Nip.
Not being pretted.
Always being paid attention to (but not being petted).
Eating rubber bands.
Playing with rubber bands,
Anything having to do with rubber bands.
Obsessively walking in the same foot steps around the yard, EVERYTIME I go outside.
Being better than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
When the Male Slave pays attention to the Female Slave before noticing me.
Lurking in the bathtubs, waiting for an unsuspecting slave to walk in so I can launch at them.
Folding Laundry (aka- climbing into the dryer as soon as the Female Slave opens the dryer door).
Helping make the bed (extra points if I get made into the fitted sheet).
MY ottoman.
MY chair.
Watching Cat TV (aka- the bird feeder through the sliding glass door).
When my Female Slave rolls balls of yarn.
When I get treats.
Kneading on anything made of microfiber (it feels the best on my paws).
Laying on things that the Slaves refer to as 'uncomfortable'.
Pit'r Patter salmon flavored kitty treats (these are extra special and I only get them when I'm trying to be bribed, which is just one of the many reasons why I am stubborn).
Sleeping under the blanket with my Female Slave when she takes a nap.
Showing off my incredible muscles as I easily knock heavy items to the floor when I feel they are in my way and/or I feel I'm not getting paid enough attention.
Sushi.
Letting guests admire my beauty, but making sure they DON'T TOUCH ME.
Yodeling in the early hours of morning.


I'll finish this later, I'm in desperate need of a cat nap.


P.s. If anyone leaks that I love anything at all, I will take all 12 of my front claws and make sure you NEVER talk again.